I wish I could turn back the clock. I
wish I could stop time and go back to that moment when...
Beneath
the full moon that hangs over Boston we twirl. Two lovers whose reflection
glistens off the smooth waters that capture our devotion in mirrored bliss. We
stand here atop this bridge at Boston Common Park, my hands around your waist
as our stares are cast longingly into each other's eyes. Your eyes, those
beautiful eyes into which I want only to gaze forever, melt my heart and offer
me a joy unrivaled by any other pleasure I shall ever know. In this moment I
realize my heart's true desire and ask the question that has for three long
years been coming:
"Ornela,
I love you...I am in love with you. Will you be my girlfriend?"
You
say nothing, but though your lips remain silent their answer is jubilantly
given once they press firmly upon my own. We are completely lost in each other,
and there is no place I would rather be.
We
retreat to your home, to your bedroom where soon our passion has taken us to
bliss hitherto unknown. This is the night, the first for both of us.
I
stroke your body softly, pressing bare skin upon skin. Your chin trembles,
though from fear or anticipation I know not.
"Are
you ready?" I ask.
You
nod, and as I press my body onto yours a last gasp of innocence signifies your transformation
into womanhood as our bodies become one.
That is how our last night together
three years ago in Boston should have gone Ornela. I think about the moment on
that bridge at Boston Common Park when I should have asked you to be mine...I
think about it every day. We should have made love for the first time that
night, but instead I foolishly discarded our love. It is my life's single
greatest regret, and one that I do not believe I will ever recover from. I am
so sorry for what has happened, and I hope that you can find it in your heart
to forgive me.
This journal has become a doorway into
my feelings for you. In our five days together last week, there were a thousand
things I wanted to say to you that either time or the situation did not allow.
So I will say them here instead. I will say everything that is on my heart and
let you decide if you wish to hear my words or not. Perhaps one day you will
let me look into your eyes again and tell you how much I love you. Perhaps one
day you will give us a chance to have the life together that we always should
have had.
I will wait, and I will hope.
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Ornela, I will be in Boston next week.
If you would like to see me, please let me know.
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