Together

You sent me the following text message last night:

"Bobby, things are the same as they were two weeks ago. I thought you understood that."

I should have understood that Ornela...I really should have. I know that your feelings for me are gone, but I guess I just didn't want to believe it.

Have you ever wanted something so badly that you were blinded to the reality of a situation? That is what happened to me. I have wanted to have a relationship, a real relationship, with you for so long that I ignored every indication you gave me that you no longer want a relationship with me. It was hard for me to accept that. It was hard for me to believe that your feelings for me are truly gone, so I pushed things further than I should have. I pushed you further than I should have...and for that I am sorry.

You never asked me to move to Boston, but I had convinced myself that if I moved to the city to be near you, somehow your feelings for me might change. I was just looking for a fresh start between us and I always wondered if your feelings for me would return if we had the opportunity for a real relationship where we see each other every day. The chance for a normal relationship is something we never had before, and it was something that I was trying to give us by moving to Boston.

So I began looking for work in the city and, much to my surprise, actually found an interested company fairly quickly. They flew me to Boston for my interviews, hired a driver to take me to their headquarters, and toured me around their offices. They interviewed me for hours, but I wasn't nervous at all...I felt no stress or anxiety because in my mind I was not in the interview; I was with a girl I love, laying in her bed in a house on Inman Street as we talked and held each other close. The whole time I was in Boston for my interviews, you are all I thought about...about the life we could share here together, the life I want to build with you. I thought about long walks together around Boston Common Park after our workdays, holding hands and talking about our day. I thought about taking drives through rural western Massachusetts in the Spring time where we find a secluded place to picnic and spend the whole day together. I thought about lazy Sundays spent together in bed, simply talking for hours and succumbing to temptation as we give our bodies to each other. I thought of all of these things, about everything a real relationship with you would look like...and it made me very happy, just as it still does.

A week ago the company offered me a job. They offered me a great salary, good benefits, and a new life in Boston. I told them I needed time to consider their offer, but in truth I needed time to try to talk to you. That is why I texted you last night...I had to know for sure whether or not you wanted me to move to Boston for you. I had to know for sure whether or not you were willing to give us a chance at a normal relationship. You gave me my answer. It hurt. But I have to respect your decision.

The company called me today for a decision. I did not want to refuse their offer, not because of anything related to the job, but because I feel like turning down their offer would be like walking away from a life that I want to share with you. They gave me until 5:00 p.m. this Friday to reach a decision, but my decision has already been made. Unless you ask me to move to Boston to be with you, I am not going to come to the city.

I hope. I hope that between now and this Friday some lost feelings may stir within your heart and cause you to change your mind. For the first time in our lives we have the opportunity to truly be together. I want to be with you Ornela...and I only hope that you want to be with me too.